my_marigold

I am sitting in the office of our house and I can hear the wind wipping by the window every now and again. This is the second day of this non-stop cold, wind and rain. I can't say I mind it, though. I love to be snuggled up, preferably with my hubby, candles lit with a good book or watching a good movie.

I cannot believe it is almost Thanksgiving! Time seems to have gotten away from me. Me, my hubby, Kim, Riley and Charley will be traveling to Florida to spend Thanksgiving at my parent's house. I love being at my parent's house. It is so beautiful, so relaxing and so much fun. I am excited for this mini-vacation. THEN, a month later (almost to the day) we will be going BACK to Florida for an even longer visit for Christmas. :) Our whole family is going to Disney's Magic Kindgom while we are down for Christmas and I can't wait. It's going to be such a fun family vacation.

Oh and can I just say how AWESOME God is??? I mean, seriously. Sometimes I just sit back and marvel at how great He is. I know He has plans for me and Mike and my entire family that I can't even imagine they are so wonderful.

Tomorrow, Kim and I are heading to the Outlets and I am also getting my seasonal and H1N1 flu vaccines. I have to stay healthy for a possible pregnancy in the future. :)

Oh and one more thing, you HAVE to listen to Mandisa's new song called He is With You. It's so good and makes me cry every time! ;)

Good night and God bless!

JML

Random Musings:

1.It is FREEZING this morning....
2.But, it's supposed to warm up this week :( I love the cold!
3.Speaking of colds, I have one and I hope it goes away soon!
4.I am up super early today, so I can get to bed earlier tonight
5.Roseanne is hilarious!
6.Last night, House was posponed due to stupid baseball running over..blah! ;)
7.I have a surprise for this weekenddddd! :) And no, I'm not pregnant!
8.My house is sparkling clean and I love it!
9.My new classes started yesterday and so far they look really interesting
10.My hubby is sweet and secyness! :)

Fiesta Friday is a Lewis family tradition...Mike makes tacos and all the fixings and we invite my parents (when they lived in NC) Kim, Jeff and the girls over and just hang out. Typically, Kim and I chat, the girls run around and Jeff and Mike play video games. :) Tonight was Fiesta Friday and we had a great time! The weather is still gorgeous, so we had all the windows open!

Random Musings:

1.Mike and I are both battling colds right now...ugh!
2.I love to sing. In my head I am a famous gospel singer...in reality? I am, at best, average. ;)
3.I am hoping to get to a pumpkin patch sometime this fall!
4.I am OBSESSED with Gilmore Girls lately..I have the DVD set and I could watch them all day long.
5.Lash Stiletto Mascara is AH-MAZE-ING. Seriously, try it!
6.I have been watching tons of make up tutorials on YouTube..it's fun. My faves are julieg713 and fafinettex3
7.My hubby makes yummy food and I love him! :)

Off to bed I go! It's snuggle and movie time. :)

JML

I didn't want to make this post. But if I was ever going to, today is the perfect day to do so. Today is Pregnancy and Infant Loss Rememberance Day. Today, like every other day, I am remembering the sweet baby that I was blessed enough to carry for 2 months.

When we first found out that we had lost our baby I wanted to delete this journal. I wanted to delete my Myspace and my Facebook. I wanted to delete anything that had any mention that I was ever pregnant. Thankfully, I thought better of it. I do not want to deny that I was pregnant. I do not want to deny that I had a miscarriage. I want to remember that special time and remember how happy our baby made us for those 2 months that I carried him or her.

And, of course, there are the hard times. The times when the grief is so palpable I can barely breathe. I will always miss this baby. There will always be a sense of loss when I think of him or her. I never wanted to be a member of this "club." I never thought it could happen to me. But, it did. Our family will always be one member short.

But, we are healing. We have hope and we have faith. And that is ONLY because of God. The night that I miscarried I laid in bed crying and I told God that I didn't understand, but I trust Him. And that pretty much sums it up still to this day. I may never understand why this happened to us, but I know that God's plans are better than my plans, His ways are better than my ways. I miss being pregnant and Mike and I both miss our baby, but God is ALWAYS with us and He will never forsake us.

Just because Mike and I are Christians doesn't mean we are immune to pain. No person, Christian or not, is. God Himself told us in the Bible that in this life there WILL be trouble. But we have the GREATEST comfort in the world knowing that God is with us always, carrying us when we cannot walk anymore, holding every tear we cry in His hands.

I know Mike and I will get pregnant again and we will have a big, God loving family someday. And finally, finally, finally, I have given it ALL to God and I know in His time and in His way, we will get there. Yes, we will get there.

"And I may never know why
Oh I may not understand
But I will lift up my eyes,
and trust this is Your plan"

Phil Stacey-You're Not Shaken

Baby Lewis
August 26th-September 26th

The weather in NC has been absolutely magical today! Well, maybe magical isn't the word, but you know what I mean. It's been in the 50's all day. I had the windows open and was enjoying the cool breeze...until it started raining that is. But I didn't mind the rain a bit..mainly because I am inside snuggled up on my comfy couch. Tonight Mike and I are going to Kim's house for dinner. I just love being out in this cool weather and the Fall season. I love the leaves changing colors, the Ugg boots, the sweaters, the scarves..everything! :) I am one happy girl today!

Inspired by a blog that I have been reading lately, www.learningtobeawife.blogspot.com, here are my current Random Musings:

Random Musings:
1.I love candles..especially Fall scented ones
2.I have been such a domestic diva lately..cleaning, laundry, dishes, the works...
3.NOW, I just need to work on the cooking
4.My hubby is so sweet and I love him :)
5.God is good..ALL THE TIME
6.Desperate Housewives is my guiltiest of pleasures
7.I cannottttt wait until Halloween, Thanksgiving and Christmas!!
8.Headache..please go away?

I really plan on updating this blog more regularly, so if you're reading..keep on reading! :)

with love,
Jenn

My parent's and little sister are in from FL this weekend visiting, so my husband and I spent the day with them and my middle sister, brother-in-law and nieces. :)

I forgot to take pictures of getting ready lol, so the day began with having breakfast with everyone at a really yummy diner. Here is my niece, Riley, stacking jelly packets lol.



Here are 2 pics of my hubby and our niece, Charley outside the restaurant.





Then we went to a store called Ollie's and here is Riley in a Hilary Clinton mask!



After Ollie's we headed to Lifeway Christian Store.



What I got from Ollies and Lifeway Christian Store.







Oh and this lady was holding her baby like upside down! He was so cute!



We then all went to get ice cream at Dairy Queen.





This is Riley and my little sister, Libby.



Then we went to the house my parent's still own and Libby saw her old friend, Natalie...and my hubby fell asleep on the floor lol.





We went to an Italian place for dinner and went back to my sister's house to watch Paul Blart: Mall Cop and my hubby and I didn't get home til after 11pm! I took a shower and settled in with my laptop and the remote. :)

So that was my day! Thanks for looking! :)

Yesterday was my first OB appt and ultrasound. According to my last period, I should have been 8 weeks 5 days. The baby was only measuring 7 weeks and there was no heartbeat. :( My husband and I are devastated. Tomorrow I am having the Misoprostol placed and then going home and waiting to miscarry.

Prayers are appreciated.

In 2 hours, I will be 8 weeks pregnant! I cannot believe time has flown so fast! In less than one month, I will be in my 2nd trimester already. It still feels like just yesterday that I found out we were expecting.

I still have had zero morning sickness. My only symptoms right now are fatigue, frequent urination and the ocassional hormonal outburst! ;) Sometimes I even forget that I am pregnant. I will be watching TV, see a baby and think "oh wow, I am going to have one of those soon!"

I have my first ultrasound on Thursday, September 24th...the day before my 24th birthday! What a wonderful birthday present I am getting. I cannot wait to see our baby for the first time. I am certain that tears will be shed. I will be 8 weeks 5 days on the day of my ultrasound and I will definitely be posting pictures.

I continue to feel so in awe and blessed and thrilled to be pregnant. I am a worrier by nature, so I know once I see that everything is wonderful on the ultrasound, then I will be able to enjoy the pregnancy even more.

Tomorrow, Mike and I are off to the zoo with Kim, Jeff and the girls. Let's hope I am not too tired to walk around all day.

God bless!

I am 5 weeks and 2 days today! I had my hcG (pregnancy hormone) levels tested for 3 days each one 2 days apart and, praise God, the numbers look great!

#1-416
#2-1290
#3-2793

They like the numbers to double and mine more than doubled each time! So far, I haven't had too many symptoms to speak of. I am more tired than normal, my chest is sore and I am feeling round ligament pain. But other than that, I feel great. I keep wondering when/if morning sickness is going to rear it's ugly head! I can only hope it's at least AFTER we get back from our vacation to Florida. We leave on Friday and I have SO much to do before we leave!

I have a huge collection of pregnancy and childcare books from shopping at used books stores and thrift stores. I havent paid more than $2 for most of my pregnancy and childcare books. I need to decide which ones I want to read first. The 10 hour drive to Florida will give me plenty of time to catch up on my reading.

Mike is making me dinner as we speak and I need to get working on my ever expanding to-do list so we are ready to leave Friday morning! I can't wait! :)

I was SURE I wasn't pregnant this month. After 13 months of trying, I got used to seeing those negative pregnancy tests. I had been feeling icky all week and my period hadn't come yet, so Mike said "maybe you're pregnant?!" to which I replied "GO BUY ME A TEST." So, Mike leaves for the local drug store and comes back with a 2 pack of the digital EPT. I took the box and went into my bathroom. Mike didn't know I was taking the test right then. I pee in my lovely little dixie cup, dipped the test into it and set it on the counter. Then I washed my hands...brushed my hair...re-arranged my perfume bottles..all the while keeping my eye on the test. Suddenly, the word PREGNANT was displayed plain as day on the test. I gasped and later Mike told me heard me all the way in the office. Slowly and silently, I walked from my bathroom to the office and just handed the positive test to Mike. So much for telling him in a cute way!!! He looked at it for a second and then said "BABY!!!" We just started laughinggggg. It was hysterical. I was in shock. The one month I thought for sure I was not pregnant, turns out to be the month that I am!

I knew I wanted to tell Kim right away since I see her a lot and I knew I wouldn't be able to act normal. So, I straightened my hair and got ready to go tell Kim. I could not break the news with crazy, wavy hair!

Once we were at Kim's house, I had to get Riley by herself, so I could hand her the bag of positive pregnancy tests (I had taken 3!) Finally, the phone rang and Kim went to answer it leaving me and Riley in her bedroom. I grabbed the bag out of my purse and quickly handed it to Riley and told her to bring it to mommy. Of course, being the curious 3 year old that she is, she kept asking "but what is this?" She did finally give the bag to Kim and Kim looked at it for a second and was like "shut up." And Mike and I just stood there smiling and laughing at her. Once she got that it was real and we weren't kidding, she just started BAWLINGGGG. She knew how long we have prayed for this and she is so looking forward to being an aunt. Charley kept saying "cry? cry?" because her mommy was crying and Riley was so cute she said "I'm gonna have a sister....or something.:

THEN we had to call my mom, dad and Libby in Florida. Kim called and told them to put the phone on speaker. My mom later told me she thought Riley was going to sing a song for them or something lol. I then grabbed the phone and told them "I'M PREGNANT!" They all screamed and yelled and were so excited. :)

EVERYONE is thrilled for us and we could not be happier! I feel SOOO blessed and humbled.

Tonight is Chick Nite at church and Kim and I always go together. It's a great night of worship. AND we leave for Florida a week from today!! I have so much to do before we leave! I know once we are on the road, I will be able to breathe that sigh of relief and enjoy a relaxing vacation. :)

God has done such a work in my life and in Mike's life. When I think about where I was just 2 years ago, I am in awe of how far God has taken me. I feel He was preparing me for the journey that Mike and I were set to be on in our attempt start our family. Below is a little breakdown of what our journey has looked like thus far.

04/05/08-Mike and I got married!
07/14/08-Started trying to conceive
07/15/08-Started taking prenatal vitamins
07/23/09-First infertility appointment
07/23/09-Progesterone/thyroid blood work
08/03/09-Hysterosalpingogram (HSG) x-ray
08/09/09-Positive ovulation prediction test
08/10/09-Positive ovulation prediction test
08/18/09-Second inferility appointment
08/18/09-Internal ultrasound
08/26/09-POSITIVE pregnancy tests!!!!
08/27/09-Positive pregnancy test confirmed at the North Carolina Center for Reproductive Medicine (NCCRM).

After 13 months of trying, God has answered our prayers! This feeling of happiness was well worth the wait and I know that when I hold my son or daughter, those feelings of joy and love and peace will only increase. I can't wait to share this pregnancy with Mike, my parents, my sisters and my friends!

1 Samuel 1:27 "I prayed for this child, and the LORD has granted me what I asked of him."

I do not let anyone, anonymous commentor or no anonymous commentor, steal MY JOY and my joy in the Lord! :)

A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another (John 13:34).

But I tell you who hear me: Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you (Luke 6:27-28).

Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse (Romans 12:14).

We work hard with our own hands. When we are cursed, we bless; when we are persecuted, we endure it (1 Corinthians 4:12).

Do not repay anyone evil for evil. Be careful to do what is right in the eyes of everybody. If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone. Do not take revenge, my friends, but leave room for God's wrath, for it is written: "It is mine to avenge; I will repay," says the Lord. On the contrary: "If your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink. In doing this, you will heap burning coals on his head." Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good (Romans 12:17-21).

Do not repay evil with evil or insult with insult, but with blessing, because to this you were called so that you may inherit a blessing (1 Peter 3:9).

Anyone who claims to be in the light but hates his brother is still in the darkness. Whoever loves his brother lives in the light, and there is nothing in him to make him stumble (1 John 2:9-10).

I am pregnant!!!!!

My husband and I found out today that we are PREGNANT!!! We are so blessed, thrilled and excited!

I'm waiting
I'm waiting on You, Lord
And I am hopeful
I'm waiting on You, Lord
Though it is painful
But patiently, I will wait

I will move ahead, bold and confident
Takeing every step in obedience
While I'm waiting
I will serve You
While I'm waiting
I will worship
While I'm waiting
I will not faint
I'll be running the race
Even while I wait

I'm waiting
I'm waiting on You, Lord
And I am peaceful
I'm waiting on You, Lord
Though it's not easy
But faithfully, I will wait
Yes, I will wait
I will serve You while I'm waiting
I will worship while I'm waiting
I will serve You while I'm waiting
I will worship while I'm waiting
I will serve you while I'm waiting
I will worship while I'm waiting on You, Lord

John Waller-While I'm Waiting

Question: "What is a Christian?"

Answer: A dictionary definition of a Christian would be something similar to “a person professing belief in Jesus as the Christ or in the religion based on the teachings of Jesus.” While this is a good starting point, like many dictionary definitions, it falls somewhat short of really communicating the biblical truth of what it means to be a Christian. The word “Christian” is used three times in the New Testament (Acts 11:26; 26:28; 1 Peter 4:16). Followers of Jesus Christ were first called “Christians” in Antioch (Acts 11:26) because their behavior, activity, and speech were like Christ. The word “Christian” literally means, “belonging to the party of Christ” or a “follower of Christ.”

Unfortunately over time, the word “Christian” has lost a great deal of its significance and is often used of someone who is religious or has high moral values but who may or may not be a true follower of Jesus Christ. Many people who do not believe and trust in Jesus Christ consider themselves Christians simply because they go to church or they live in a “Christian” nation. But going to church, serving those less fortunate than you, or being a good person does not make you a Christian. Going to church does not make you a Christian anymore than going to a garage makes you an automobile. Being a member of a church, attending services regularly, and giving to the work of the church does not make you a Christian.

The Bible teaches that the good works we do cannot make us acceptable to God. Titus 3:5 says, “He saved us, not because of righteous things we had done, but because of his mercy. He saved us through the washing of rebirth and renewal by the Holy Spirit.” So, a Christian is someone who has been born again by God (John 3:3; John 3:7; 1 Peter 1:23) and has put faith and trust in Jesus Christ. Ephesians 2:8 tells us that it is “…by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God.”

A true Christian is a person who has put faith and trust in the person and work of Jesus Christ, including His death on the cross as payment for sins and His resurrection on the third day. John 1:12 tells us, “Yet to all who received him, to those who believed in his name, he gave the right to become children of God.” The mark of a true Christian is love for others and obedience to God’s Word (1 John 2:4, 10). A true Christian is indeed a child of God, a part of God’s true family, and one who has been given new life in Jesus Christ.

http://www.gotquestions.org/what-is-a-Christian.html

The Proverbs 31 Woman :

AS A WIFE:
10An excellent wife, who can find?
For her worth is far above jewels.
rare, precious
11The heart of her husband trusts in her,
And he will have no lack of gain.
trustworthy
12She does him good and not evil
All the days of her life.
kind Her Character

AS A HOMEMAKER
13She looks for wool and flax
And works with her hands in delight.
works joyfully
14She is like merchant ships;
She brings her food from afar.
goes extra mile to get choicest goods
15She rises also while it is still night
And gives food to her household
And portions to her maidens.
disciplined
16She considers a field and buys it;
From her earnings she plants a vineyard.
enterprising, prudent with money
17She girds herself with strength
And makes her arms strong.
energetic
18She senses that her gain is good;
Her lamp does not go out at night.
good steward
19She stretches out her hands to the distaff,
And her hands grasp the spindle.
diligent Her Devotion

AS A NEIGHBOR
20She extends her hand to the poor,
And she stretches out her hands to the needy.
compassionate, generous Her Generosity

AS A HOMEMAKER
21She is not afraid of the snow for her household,
For all her household are clothed with scarlet.
provident
22She makes coverings for herself;
Her clothing is fine linen and purple.
elegant
23Her husband is known in the gates,
When he sits among the elders of the land.
influential
24She makes linen garments and sells them,
And supplies belts to the tradesmen.
industrious Her Devotion

AS A TEACHER
25Strength and dignity are her clothing,
And she smiles at the future.
poised
26She opens her mouth in wisdom,
And the teaching of kindness is on her tongue.
wise Her Influence

AS A MOTHER
27She looks well to the ways of her household,
And does not eat the bread of idleness.
manages her home
28Her children rise up and bless her;
Her husband also, and he praises her, saying:
praiseworthy
29"Many daughters have done nobly,
But you excel them all."
distinguished Her Effectiveness

AS A WOMAN
30Charm is deceitful and beauty is vain,
But a woman who fears the LORD, she shall be praised.
God-fearing
31Give her the product of her hands,
And let her works praise her in the gates.
honored Her Excellence

THE INFERTILITY ALPHABET

Ask and it shall be given you; seek, and ye shall find; knock and it shall be opened unto you. Matthew 7:7

Be strong and of good courage; be not afraid, neither be thou dismayed; for the Lord thy God is with thee whithersoever thou goest. Joshua 1:9

Continue in prayer, and watch in the same with Thanksgiving. Colossians 4:2

Draw nigh to God, and He will draw nigh to you. James 4;8

Evening, and morning, and at noon, will I pray, and cry aloud: and He shall hear my voice. Psalm 55:17

For God so loved the world, that He gave His only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in Him should not perish, but have everlasting life John 3:16

Godliness with contentment is great gain. I Timothy 6:6

He that abideth in me, and I in Him, the same bringeth forth much fruit; for without Me ye can do nothing. John 15:5

In thee, O Lord, do I put my trust. Psalm 31:1

Judge not, and ye shall not be judged; condemn not, and ye shall not be condemned; forgive, and ye shall be forgiven. Luke 6:37

Keep yourselves in the love of God, looking for the mercy of our Lord Jesus Christ unto eternal life. Jude 1:21

Let your conversation be without covetousness; and be content with such things as ye have; for He hath said, I will never leave thee, nor forsake thee. Hebrews 13:5

My help cometh from the Lord, which made heaven and earth. Psalm 121:2

Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen Hebrews 11:1

O give thanks unto the Lord; for He is good; for His mercy endureth forever. Psalm 106:1

Pray without ceasing. I Thessalonians 5:17

Quicken us, and we will call upon thy name. Psalm 80:18

Rejoice in every good thing which the Lord thy God hath given unto thee... Deuteronomy 26:11

Set your affection on things above, not on things on the earth Colossians 3:2

They that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint. Isaiah 40:31

Uphold me according unto thy word, that I may live; and let me not be ashamed of my hope. Psalm 119:116

Verily, verily, I say unto you, whatsoever ye shall ask the Father in My name, He will give it you. John 16:23

With God all things are possible. Matthew 19:26

Except the Lord build the house, they labour in vain that build it... Psalm 127:1

Ye shall seek Me, and find Me when ye shall search for Me with all your heart. Jeremiah 29:13

The Lord shall bless thee out of Zion... Psalm 128:5

John 15:18
“If the world hates you, keep in mind that it hated me first."

1 John 4:4
"You, dear children, are from God and have overcome them, because the one who is in you is greater than the one who is in the world."

Romans 12:14
"Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse."

Matthew 5:10
"Blessed are those who are persecuted because of righteousness, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven."

Now I feel better. :)